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Demons fighting
Strike like lightning
deep within my head
Cannot stop the wrath they cause
wishing I were dead
Voices breathing
my heart weeping
from the force I can't defend
Ungodly pain with no control
laid upon my soul
Pieces lost
at any cost
leave holes within my heart
tears are weeping
drowning, seeping
when did this all start?
I wonder why
I cannot fly
It's not like I haven't tried
Why me?
wish I could see
what I've done to deserve this pain
I'll never know
until I go
to a land that'll let me fly
watching like a dove
the few I love
from far beyond the sky
That day'll come soon
just like the moon
to light the darkened sky
and when it starts
I'll leave my heart
And finally, I will fly.
Children cry
as hope has died
all throughout the world
tears have choken
heart's being broken
souls are tossed and hurled
into the night
of faded light
the future you cannot see
the past forgotten
the present gone rotten
wishing not to be
children shooting
people looting
the world is a disgrace
we were born to live
but what can we give
when we can't show our true face?
love's just a word
that goes unheard
as many have lost their souls
hate is a game
to the demon's name
so we lose sight of our goals
what do we do
when nothing seems true
and we no longer believe
nothing to offer
and all will suffer
yet noone cares to grieve
bullets fired
children hired
to sell out in the street
it's someone to trust
jaded by the lust
of all those that they meet
My soul's gone to pot
As all will rot
I just wish I could leave
We'll be "saved" they swear
but noone cares
What a tangled web we weave.
My heart has been shadowed
like an eclipse across the sun
mind like a twisted maze
a labyrinth of stone
encaging me in becoming my protector
from the emotions that rage within.
My masks, I have a thousand
worn each and every day
for noone sees the face behind
the face that's really me
I can look into a mirror
and see all the disgust
the hatred and the shame
though I never know quite who it is
that is looking back at me
a reflection?...perhaps
an image of who you were?,
who you are? who you want to be?
or someone you no longer recognize
a stranger who's taken your soul
you wonder what's on the other side
of the looking glass beyond
or is it just a mirror
with just a stranger
staring back at me?
How are the blind expected to see
when darkness is all they know?
How are the deaf expected to hear
when they've never heard music flow?
How are the mute expected to speak
when they cannot make a sound?
How are the vets expected to walk
with limbs that were never found?
It amazes me how easy it is
for the obvious to be seen so clear
but what is not seen, so quickly judged
for they cannot see the fear
How can you expect one who's ADD
to focus at the drop of a hat?
How can you expect someone with OCD
to act "normal" just like that?
How are those depressed expected to smile
when that's what others do?
How can you expect one with anxiety disorders
to "calm down" just because you tell them to?
It's a mystery how the world can be
so blind, deaf, and dumb.
To be quick to judge everybody else
without taking a look at themselves
The prejudice I see today
is far beyond black and white
What I'm wondering now
as I sit here tonight
How can you expect a better place
in this world that's so-called "his"?
If you are one to judge then take a good look
and tell me what "normal" is.
Many days I cry alone
listening to a different tone
wondering why I feel this way
wishing I could fade away
tears never fall within my eyes
just deep in my heart & from the skies
wondering what it's like to feel
the love of one that's truly real
Been betrayed by so many I trusted
left me with my heart so rusted
from the tears
and all my fears
falling till I just can't stand the pain
any longer it's just too much to take
and I wonder why they all were so fake
telling lies beneath their phony act
thinking I'd never see as a matter of fact
but I did
and they left me with my tears
crying harder in my fears
and they went not looking back
at my heart upon which they'd cracked
they just kept on...
...never looking back...
The path I walk, I solely tread
into this labyrinth I am lead
thorns encase the walls I'm in
drawing me into this mortal sin
The sky is black, the clouds are grey
with not a sunrise for esch new day
No rainbows do I ever see
Just shadows that lurk behind every tree
I don't know that I'll ever see the light
or if I'll ever say my day was bright
Happiness is a word unknown
in this world of melencholy tones
A foreign land to all but me
I suppose it all was meant to be
An accident I was since birth
with dreaded feelings of self worth
This churning of enchantes chaos and fear
tightens the knot with which I'm steered
Tears flow freely deep inside
day in and out with which I hide
Burning scars inside and out
questioning what brought this about
Numbness helps to hide the pain
But I'll forever be left in the rain.
Daniel rushes out on stage
before his awaited fans.
To flip and jump and summersault
while children clapped their hands.
The youngsters giggle with delight
to watch him entertain.
He fills their little hearts with joy
as he rides the old toy train.
His face is always painted
with a smile and a big red nose.
Except for the single tear he's drawn
so small it hardly shows.
Beneath the paint is what no one sees,
the true face Daniel hides.
For it's more than just a little tear
that stream from Daniel's eyes.
He's brought happiness to others,
never found it for himself.
The only friend he'd ever had
was the bottle on the shelf.
Now Daniel was a good man
gave it everything he had.
But now his soul is empty
and his soul is lost and sad.
He's done his show for thirteen years
but he can no longer try.
Saddened he walks to his tiny house
and breathes a heavy sigh.
He sits down in his easy chair,
a drink lodged in his hand.
Daniel sorts through his bag of tricks
as the hourglass loses sand.
Daniel picked up the only thing
he knew would set him free.
Wherever it would take him
is where happiness would be.
He calmly walked across the room
with a blank look in his eye.
A single tear fell silently
as Daniel smiled and said
Goodbye.
I could cry,
sandpaper tears that scratch the scars
and burn through my soul.
While innocence,
has turned to faded memories of the world.
I see it now
beyond the naked steel bars
that have captured me.
The warmest touch,
feels cold with ripping pain and trustless love
I cannot see what is real.
Numbed by the voice,
screaming in my brain; it's taken all.
I can't escape,
its grip is more than I can bear.
A darkened call.
Unmistakably frightening; though I am drawn,
empowered by its force.
Horrific and evil,
yet familiar; it is all I know.
Rendering me helpless,
this rebirth of sin...
It must be home.
Dear "God"
I know I'm not a saint.
This life you've placed upon me
is a picture I can't paint.
I've never been a believer;
I admit that much is true,
but I now feel, as a last resort
that I must turn to you.
I've chased my hopes in circles
trying to understand the past.
Though each road that I follow
has been harder than the last.
I don't know what it is I've done
or what's left for me to do,
I can no longer offer apologies
for feeling what is true.
A childhood that has been erased,
my life's been shocked away.
A careless mistake made selfishly
I'm at the end, so now I pray.
As I lay me down tonight,
please save me from this place.
Forever wash it all away
before they see my face.
Let me fly beyond the stars;
take me now so I may lie,
apart from all this pain I bear,
please "God",
just let me die.
A simple white rose
standing solitary
within a mottled glass vase
See its beauty
its delicate petals
as pure as silk
Your eyes don't see
what lies beneath
because of the clouded glass
what protects it
what holds it together
what is flowing though its veins
The rose in the sun
begins to fade
as the petals drop one by one
wilted and withered
dried and lifeless
What you must see
when the petals have gone
many will toss it away
just take one more glance
for you will see
beneath it all
looking through the glass
the beauty of the rose
still stands...
solitary.
| Voices churning | |
| words that burn ingraving in your soul | |
| People laughing | |
| soul is masking the world who you should be | |
| Piercing deeply | |
| tears are seeping further down inside | |
| The wind is cold | |
| as you are told to leave your fated skin | |
| Clothes are torn | |
| were you forwarned of the torture you will face? | |
| Heart is beating | |
| still it's defeating a struggle bound to lose | |
| All alone | |
| he's set the tone for what your life will be | |
| To your dismay | |
| it's you that's paying for his malicious deed | |
| A night's regret | |
| You'll never forget, it's branded in your soul | |
| You've come to see | |
| What's meant to be, it is in fact your choice | |
| To live this hell | |
| Deep in your well or fly forever free | |
| Your choice to make | |
| No one can take that step over the line | |
| You know it's true | |
| It's time to do what you know is destiny | |
| A last goodbye | |
| a final cry you say goodnight to all | |
| And when you wake | |
| you'll no longer ache as peace has set in place | |
| A world you'll live | |
| now peacefully away from all the hurt | |
| And you will know | |
| that through your choice you'll finally get to grow | |
| Escaped the past | |
| After taking the last of what they'd handed out | |
| Now all you'll see | |
| Is harmony in the sweetness of your choice | |
| Forever now no pain will reach | |
| inside your being lies only peace | |
| Good bye cruel world I leave you now | |
| for once it's up to me | |
| I've left for a place where I belong | |
| just know that now this was my voice | |
| for the first time heard | |
| ...I've made my choice. |
Teardrops fall within my heart
melting down what was a part
intense emotions growing strong
screaming out in silent song
So much torn down to ever repair
true to myself, I cannot care
So desolate, I stand alone
crying a tune in flattened tone
This world I live a broken land
desperate to reach out my hand
Unconditionally my love to give
Desireless myself the will to live
The hurt I'll cause breaks me inside
I cannot keep up this mask to hide
the frustration's just too much to bear
to keep it up, it's just not fair
It kills me now to leave my friends
but it's time for all the pain to end
I cannot look you in the eye
when the time will come to say goodbye
The colours far beyond the shade of blue
just know I love you, that's always true
Forever you will have my heart
despite the fact that we must part
Although I have the wish to live
the will is just too weak to give
I hate to give in to this defeat
As much to admit I have been beat
I've lost the strength to even try
it's up to fate to live or die
Your love is the only truth I've known
Still, it's a battle I must face alone
Your comfort eased this darkened place
and cracked the mask upon my face
The love in my heart to you I'll send
To only you, my one true friend.
Now I lay me down to sleep
Dreams of torment slowly seep
away so I may find the peace
if only for a moment at least
I will feel the angel's gentle touch
and feel the heart I've missed so much
No shattered emotions, no broken tears
No masks to hide my darkest fears
If only I could dream away
For a lifetime find a place to stay
I do not think I ask for much
just once to feel love's true touch
To find a place where I belong
and in the moonlight, hear the song.
The sweetness of the starlit sky
If they can be there, why can't I?
The words that go unspoken
I keep locked within my heart
The things I want to tell you
but don't know where to start
The feelings I wish I could express
to give back all you share
are hidden far beneath the chains
too strong for me to bear
The hardened grip that holds me back
if only I could break
it's grasp is much too powerful
it's then my heart does ache
I so want to return to it
and show you what is true
The only one who stopped beside
and took the time was you
I've walked a million miles
taken every path that lay
the only one that I recall was
when mine crossed yours that day
It was for that moment sense was made
of the fog I treaded in
that day I saw an angel
and the grey began to thin
That angel touched the wound inside
I myself could never reach
and for a moment I felt warm again
as the moonlight on the beach
Though reality may slip away
that angel I won't forget
a simple smile that meant so much
I'm forever in her debt
And now I sit and think of her
to that angel this message I send
I'm so very thankful for you
My special angel friend.
Goodbye doves and roses,
Hello all alone
I may cry but noone knows it
I'll portray another tone
You may say you love me
But is love just a word?
I may never find the real key
what it is is just absurd?
Forever is a time forgotten
you'd think a memory would last so long
What can you do when life turns rotten?
everything you live for is wrong
I can't seem to find a reason
if I can't live for myself
time can turn the change of season
your heart's been left on a shelf
You can't live for others
despite how much you care
they will always find another
this time your heart won't feel the tear
Gone against the ones who believe
in god and heaven above
Do I not have the right to leave
without the pain of love?
I'm sorry that I hurt you
or caused you any pain
The thought of ever losing you
has me locked beneath the rain
The words that are left unspoken
will never once be read
The feelings will be left behind
in painful shades of red
The tears that fall
from bone dry eyes
More crimson than blood red
that stream from silent cries
A broken heart can't soothe the pain
from a love that once was stole
drawn from wounds of frozen glass
can never make it whole
The doves are crying in their sweet song
that never will be heard
only when you fall that hard
can you ever hear the bird
Sitting alone and dreaming
of those pearly gates
but all you're left with in the end
is feeling worthless dire straits
Apologies are worthless
when it comes down to the end
but I cannot say "I love you"
this is all that's left to send.
Precious moments are so few
many lost because of you
dancing beneath the moonlit sky
now I sit hearing angels cry
The rain now pouring down my face
my heart hoping for saving grace
the clouds coldly whisper my name
at my life a story all in vain
Memories of the jaded past
memories that forever last
childhood dreams that never came
never knowing won't be the same
Wandering about without a home
wondering why I'm so alone
chaos whipping through my mind
hiding behind masks of every kind
By myself I sit, will it ever end?
slipping now as all descends
questioning, stuck in this blackened tar
I am bound forever behind these bars
I take a swig from the old flask
as I cower behind another mask
the world carries on in foolish pride
and again I'm the one that's left to hide.
My heart inside shows many scars
patched with blackened tar
the hole you've left still opened
burning through with cinders char
The fist sized mark that's torn within
I never will let show
despite the heat it's chilled so numb
the rain has turned to snow
The words that say I love you
I feel are said to mean true
but they were but spoken words
when they sadly came from you
I wish I could've seen the truth
at first when we had met
but once again I was blinded
and have not seen it yet
Maybe one day I will find someone
who is an honest, kind true friend
but that day is oh so far away
so now this is the end
I look at my life and those I've met
betrayal, vain and lies
I think of you and wish I could say
to you & the hurt and pain...good-bye.
Alone,
in a world I can't explain
all the evil
all the pain.
My heart's
been broke a thousand times
like an unsettled beat
or a rhyme.
And I am lost in this mess
left with so much distress
longing to be free.
Alone,
in this ever changing life
left to tear
a single drop of strife.
Beside me,
there's an angel standing near
saying it's not my time
how can I live with all this fear?
It is such a distraction
burdened with all of this traction
I just want to be free
All I want is to be free.
Just for a moment...to be free.
Dying in a lifeless body
a world, ever changing around you.
You feel nothing,
nothing matters anymore
you've lost the fight,
lost within the vicious circle
that creates your being.
Footprints walking in a forest
darkened and alone
it's claws moving in.
You look around, there's noone there
to stand beside you,
to guide you
on the path you are about to embark on.
Slowly, you climb higher and higher,
yet falling further with each step
into a pit of solitude and despair.
Trying to run,
weighed down by heaviness
within your heart.
Your soul is dead,
living in a lifeless body,
dying in a lifeless body.
-hjrm
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