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The Last Time Drowning

There was a crack in the darkness that I didn't see. I felt like I was being held under water, not struggling, not wanting to get myself out. You reached through the pain and misery to try and save me, but I was sinking too fast. I felt so alone at so many times that I should have died. I knew I would eventually, I just never thought so soon.

Screaming under water is useless. Your sound is drowned out by the dense emptiness around you. But it's not like I was heard in the first place. People are better at turning their backs than facing reality. That's how we're taught.

I was afraid. I was afraid I was the only one to realize something was wrong. I was afraid I was right when I said no one cared. I was afraid you couldn't understand well enough to hear me, to know that I needed you more then you could ever know. I was losing you, and you were losing me.

I closed my eyes up and fisted my hands. People were right in saying life sucks. It does, and it always will. I guess I really didn't want to see that crack of light in the darkness. To me, giving up was better than giving in. I feel so alone now that I know you've given up. I know if I really was drowning, you'd know me well enough to turn and walk away. Be happy because I'm happy. Remember to remember me because I'd never forget you. Believe it will get better... someday.



Last update: Sunday, August 27, 2000 14:25

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