[Note: this will undoubtedly mean very little to those of you in this world who do not recognize this "holiday" which is the one of the unfortunate side effects of an unabashed capitalistic society. However, if you like to break things, read on]
Valentines Day... ah, the powerful emotions it doth evoke. Images of young lovers holding hands, the exchange of flowers and heart shaped boxes of chocloate candy, laughter, joy, love, love, love; all this coupled with the promise of the impending spring thaw.
It's enough to make a free thinking individual want to gouge his own eyeballs out with an old rusty pair of scissors.
You hate Valentine's Day. Every year you screw up your face in disgust when your eyes fall on the center of your February calendar. Every year you glare in contempt and hatred at these ignorant fools who buy into this money-making scheme of unabashed transparent nothingess thinkly disguised as a day to show that special loved one just how much you care, while leaving those of us who are not in the throes of love to feel rejected, unloved, and downright inadequate. And those of you who are lucky enough to share the companionship of another are very aware that passing this wretched date by unheeded will result in scorn and contempt from your partner.
You've finally had enough, and you want to take action, but you are at a loss as of what kind of action to take. In a stroke of rare generosity, I have compiled a list of things you can do to make February 14 a tolerable, and even perhaps enjoyable, day for those of who refuse to be enslaved by commercialism.
You get the picture. Refuse to be passive! Join the ranks of the angry, the bitter, the angstful, and smash this day into oblivion. You'll thank me for it in the end, I guarantee.
This public service announcement was brough to you by Leigh Orf, angstful bitter dissillusioned jaded malcontent at large.
Last update: Monday, February 15, 1999 07:09