Futility

I told you I loved you,
Did you hate me for it?
I looked at you,
You didn't see me.
I would give up my life
To be in your arms tonight.
But do you care?
I don't know.

I don't know what you think,
I can't tell you what you feel.
My heart, it seems, is so
Different from yours - it's unreal.
And perhaps, that is why
I sit here alone,
In front of a keyboard, and a screen,
Writing words that are in vain.

Is there no hope?
No reason I remain here on my own?
Perhaps, but it is hidden.
Maybe, if I knew, I would not be here.
I would still be outside, enjoying myself.
Instead of sitting in a room,
Wishing for what is now past futility.
And perhaps, I would be there with you.

-James Matthews