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The following lyrics are some images from popular culture that bear special meaning to ashers. The songs are listed in more-or-less random order, apart from the first one as that one is more or less the anthem for suicidals.
I've been standing on the edge of the roof looking down, I've been looking at the people that are gathering around, I've been here for an hour or maybe even more, Just looking at the people that I've never seen before, Stupid little faces are all I can see, Those silly little suckers are all laughing at me, No wills cheap thrills you're all puppets to the master, Your only satisfaction is my lonely disaster, You learned how to creep and you learned how to crawl, But you never really learned anything at all. When I was a boy everything was just fine, I learned how to talk and how to walk in line, I had to learn the rules that build our society, But I could never undstand it didn't mean shit to me, Everybody always told me I was out of my mind, But I never did kiss anybody's behind, I'm a lot older and I guess I should know, But I'm standing on the roof just watching the show, Standing on the edge and my step belongs to me, And I'm telling you all I won't miss what I see. One foot over there's no time to turn around, Both feet are over and I'm heading for the ground, I'm flying in the air and I can feel the cool breeze, The people on the pavement have gone into a freeze, No space no time it's like walking on the moon, My heart is still beating but it won't be soon, I can hear myself scream when I hit the street, I can't feel a thing from my head to my feet, I told you I would do it and I didn't even cry, I feel more alive dead than when I was alive.
The California air Your nightgown on the stairs I remember every night Scenes from home in the Quiet Room How long have I been gone Did winter kill the lawn And all those polaroids you sent Are on the wall in the Quiet Room They've got this place Where they've been keeping me Where I can't hurt myself I can't get my wrists to bleed Just don't know why Suicide appeals to me The Quiet Room Is sterilized and white It's like a tomb With just a moth stained naked night Plastic forks and spoon No laces in my shoes They all know what I tried to do Outside the Quiet Room This quiet place It ain't so new to me It's haunted atmosphere Has heard so many scream My home from home My twilight zone My strangest dream My confidant I have confessed my life The Quiet Room Knows more about me than my wife They've got this place Where they've been keeping me Where I can't hurt myself I just can't I just can't get these damn wrists to bleed A mattress on the floor No handles on the door I really need nothing here I'm alone
a little older, little wiser with every breath i learn just a little more and with all i've seen, i've finally made up my mind enough of this world enough blood in these eyes so, so, so sick of this life it's about time that i realized release this hate from inside enough blood in my eyes call it what you will call it suicide disregard how you feel i'm just freeing my mind clench my teeth as i sleep so, so, so sick of this life cannot take, cannot fake can't shake this blood from these eyes all i have and all i will be nevertheless i'll live for all eternity 'cause you can't eraee my words, can't erase my mind you can't wipe out my thoughts can't shake this blood from my eyes so, so, so don't even try just give me one good reason to live i'll give you three to die let's leave this world behind
Life it seems, will fade away Drifting further every day Getting lost within myself Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free Things are not what they used to be Missing one inside of me Deathly lost, this can't be real Cannot stand this hell I feel Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony Growing darkness taking dawn I was me, but now He's gone No one but me can save myself, but it's to late Now I can't think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye
By Paul Simon © 1965 Paul Simon
A winter's day, In a deep and dark December: I am alone, Gazing from my window To the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow, I am a rock, I am an island. I've built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship; Friendship causes pain. Its laughter and its loving I disdain. I am a rock, I am an island. Don't talk of love; I've heard the word before; It's sleeping in my memory And I won't disturb the slumber Of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island. I have my books And my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armor, Hiding in my room, Safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock can feel no pain; And an island never cries.
Sing me to sleep, Sing me to sleep; I'm tired and I, I want to go to bed. Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep, And then leave me alone, Don't try to wake me in the morning 'Cause I will be gone. Don't feel bad for me, I want you to know, Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go. Sing me to sleep, Sing me to sleep. I don't want to wake up On my own anymore. Sing to me, Sing to me. I don't want to wake up, On my own anymore. Don't feel bad for me, I want you to know; Deep in the cell of my heart I really want to go. There is another world There is a better world Well, there must be, Well, there must be. Bye bye....
Sometimes I try to do things, and it just doesn't work out the way i want it to and I get real frustrated, and like, I try hard to do it and I take my time and it just doesn't work out the way I want it to, it's like I concentrate on it real hard, and it just doesn't work out, and everything I do and everything I try it never turns out, it's like I need time to figure these things out, there's always someone there going, hey mike, you know, we been noticing you've been having alot of problems lately, you know, maybe get away, and like, maybe you should talk about it, you'd feel alot better, I go no, it's ok, you know, I'll figure it out, just leave me alone I'll figure it out, you know, I'll just work it out myself, and they go, well you know, if you wanna talk about it I'll be here you know, and you'll probably feel alot better if you talk about it, so why don't you talk about it, I go, no, I don't want to, I'm ok, I'll figure it out myself, but they just keep bugging me and they just keep bugging me, and it builds up inside, So you're gonna be institutionalized You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes You won't have any say They'll brainwash you until you see their way I'm not crazy - institutionalized You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized You're driving me crazy - institutionalized They stuck me in an institution Said it was the only solution To give me the needed professional help To protect me from the enemy, myself I was in my room and I was like just staring at the wall thinking about everything but then again I was thinking about nothing, and then my mom comes in and I didn't even know she was there and she calls my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming, MIKE, MIKE, and I go what, what's the matter, and she goes what's the matter with you? I go there's nothing wrong mom, and she goes don't give me that, you're on drugs, I go no mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm ok, I'm just thinking, why don't you get me a Pepsi? She goes, no, you're on drugs, I go mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking, she goes no, you're not thinking, you're on drugs, normal people don't act that way. I go mom, just get me a Pepsi please, all I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me, all I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi. They give you a white shirt with long sleeves Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves Drug you up because they're lazy It's too much work to help a crazy I'm not crazy - institutionalized You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized You're driving me crazy - institutionalized They stuck me in an institution Said it was the only solution To give me the needed professional help To protect me from the enemy, myself I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go, mike, we need to talk to you, I go okay, what's the matter? They go me and your mom, we been noticing lately you've been having alot of problems, and you've been going out for no reason, and we're afraid that you're going to hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself, so we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need, and I go, wait, what are you talking about, we decided? my best interest? How do you know what MY best interest is? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say? That I'm crazy? When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities. So how can you say I'm crazy? They say they're gonna fix my brain Alleviate my suffering and my pain But by the time they fix my head Mentally I'll be dead I'm not crazy - institutionalized You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized You're driving me crazy - institutionalized They stuck me in an institution Said it was the only solution To give me the needed professional help To protect me from the enemy, myself It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.
Father forgive me for I know not what I do I tried everything, now I'll leave it up to you I don't wanna live, I don't know why I don't have no reasons, I just want to die I'm a suicidal failure, I gotta have some help I have suicidal tendencies, but I can't kill myself Tired of this way of life, my patience has expired I'm barely just 19, but my life I will retire I went down to a rifle store, I bought myself a gun I pointed it at my head, but I couldn't get the job done I'm a suicidal failure, I gotta have some help I have suicidal tendencies, but I can't kill myself I took all my mothers sleeping pills I jumped off a freeway bridge I drank three kinds of poison And drove my car off a ridge I beat myself with a bat Put a noose around my head I've overdosed on heroin But I'm still not dead I'm a suicidal failure, I gotta have some help I have suicidal tendencies, but I can't kill myself Death may not be the answer, it can't be all that great But me I'm not into living, with life I can't relate By some masochistic reasoning, I think it will be fun I want to start my second life now So shoot me with your gun
Sick of people - no ones real Sick of chicks - they're all bitches Sick of you - you're too hip Sick of life - it sucks Suicide's an alternative Sick of trying - what's the point Sick of talking - no one listens Sick of listening - its all lies Sick of thinking - just end up confused Sick of moving - never get nowhere Sick of myself - don't wanna live Sick and tired - and no one cares Sick of life - it sucks Sick of politics - for the rich Sick of power - only oppresses Sick of government - full of tyrants Sick of school - total brainwash Sick of music - top 40 sucks Sick of myself - don't wanna live Sick and tired - and no one cares Sick of life - it sucks Suicide's an alternative Sick of life - it sucks Sick and tired - and no one cares Sick of myself - don't wanna live Sick of living - I'm gonna die
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