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Untitled #1

Stay back
You'll come no further
Already, your too deep
The truth beneath this layer
To myself Ill keep

My thoughts, emotions, and beliefs
I wont let you discover,
For when you see reality
You'll turn round, run and holler

No, you'll come no further
Pain and grief awaits
My icy grave is thick
I wont let u penetrate

You'll never see,
The soul of mine
I hide it all too well
And years may pass
And days will fly
But hidden it'll remain

You'll see my eyes,
You'll taste my lips
But never will you breech,
That deep cold core
Inside of me
My soul you'll never reach

Forget the image
Destroy the light
My feelings too immense
No way for you to handle them
No way to understand

Ill never let you breech
The wall I've built around
No matter, what and where
The real me
Rests beneath
And that you haven't found

I never want to hurt you
The last thing on my mind
But if you dig and search the real me
Pain is what you'll find

You'll never sense or see
The real me
The one I hide
Cause once the emotions are released
Ill die without a sound


Untitled #2

Losing, quivering
Blood pouring out of wounds
So many, you cant tell them apart

The body lays still
But its heart beats on
Its nerves are dead
But its heart beats on
Its marrow drying
But its heart beats on

Then without any indication
A direct stab
With the sword of carelessness
One last pulsation
Silence

The heart is now pierced
As is the soul
With the forks of love and hate
One the same as the next

The body is dead
As is the soul
But the memories
Live on


Untitled #3

Buried deep down
Blood crusting up
All over my skin
My eyes drip, the
Maggots eating them

Below where no one dwells
Where no one senses my pain
Where everything has its place
All tucked away in
Drawers and cupboard
Souls and minds

Below where my pain is solitary
Alone without any other people
Mixing me up, trying to
Convince me I'm happy

No, pain is solitary
Nothing else
Even with my smile
I cry within
My eyes holding back

Below where no one can
Mix me up
Confuse me into joy.


Drink up the sound

You open up
I see your eyes
Upon the fiery feast at dawn
The devils mark
So clearly torn
Upon him
Upon her cheek
The devils love
So very meek

The sun it sets and rises
Upon those fiery cheeks
The winds blow deep and far
Your sky blue eyes, they squint

The world beats on
A heart of hearts
The carcass burns upon
The gatherment of wood

The fiery hearth
The blood squirts out
What's there to do
But drink

Envelop life
Envelop seed
Drink up the sound
Take on the deed

The fiery sky
Burns high with flames
The world has become still
The love I feel
Shall move around
Then move in for the kill


The Baby Comes

The baby comes
The father screams
He runs, a shadowed mass
The spirit keen

The shiny razor swipes across
The wrists are sliced
There's no remorse
You said good-bye
You left a note
Now is the time to die

The shadowed moss beneath my skin
The ravaged mass
A spirit keen
I lay me down here
Down and deep
Where maggots reign
I now shall sleep

Lay me down here
Dark, cold, deep
Where the maggots reign
I now shall sleep
Among the bark
Among the root
I lay to die
Covered with soot
I now shall close
Those dainty eyes
Where maggots reign
My body lies


Quietus

Never, Never, Never
My
God
Never, Never, Never
Don't kill me
I'm all she's got
Quietus
Ill-it'll be
Ill
Never, Never, Never
My
God
Don't kill me
I'm all she's got
Don't shoot
Remain, lie down
The rear
The light shines
Never, Never, never
My
God
Don't kill me
Quietus
Clutch her heart
Come and lie
My dear
My dear
Quickly
Take off
Left here
Come and live
My dear
My dear
Quickly
Lie down besides
the parallel
World
The portal
Come and lie
My dear
My dear
But only just
Final strip
Bound together
My dear
Don't part us


Untitled #4

Slipping, falling
Down the icy incline
Smoking prison
My eternal keeper

Slipping, falling
Down the rocky path
Into the field of burning corn

Surrounding me
Enter through the lungs
Into pores, into eyes

The burning stalks
Concealing the bloody sky

Slipping, falling
Into the deep
I know the path
I know what's amazing

Welcome it
The burning stalks
Scorch my eyes
Make skin and bones
Into ashes
Into dust

Fly and soar
Above the burning field
Above the icy incline
Leading to that so called
Final destination

Soar into space
Where itíll combust
And disappear in a
Flick of time
Into a patch hole of
History

Above the burning field
Above the smoky prison
Into the unknown


Naught

Slam into the abyss
Fly above the fiery skys
Into the dawns of hell
Where my soul lies

Among the weeds of torture
Among the trees of doom
I see the world though murky eyes
My whole world
Filled with gloom

The bloodied murder screamed by few
The kindred souls so kind
The bountiful priests who know no truth
Below the crimson sky

The roots of naught
They compromice
They spring forth.by the dozen
And when the fall turns to the rise
I see the world through dying eyes

The bloodied earth
From which i spring
The bloodied earth
From which i bring
The crimson water that runs south
Take forth, and drink, the devils mouth

9:58 PM 5/24/00


Branch and Bark

Down upon my darkened grave
Plops down a single tear
My soul is the one thing you cant save
Alive for now, the end grows near

It's time to say goodbye
Then cut each wrist
Away from you and you lie
my fat and bones your feast

Swallow all up now
Hands trembling fast
I shall rest, but pity thou
The pity though; it will not last

Suspend myself from branch and bark
Away with breath, away with heart
I have lived on, I left my mark
But now I die, dont give a fuck

My existance as meaningless as lies
You shall forget, i shall now die
I leave you, I have tried and tried
But you cant love me, till I die


ME

Miss you
Kiss you
See that smile
Creep upon your lips

The moon reflecting in your shiny eyes
The pupils dilated
Till all i see is you and me,
All else drops away

Breath in
The last breath
The last drop
The blood disperces

All is gone
All that remains
Is eternity
All the drying remains
Of me
Are what you'll never see

Widen the gap
Tighten the circle
Become one
With the many forces
The remaining space

It will be compromised
Disperce at once
Open the mind
And let the eternal
Flower spring

The frozen ground
It cracks so fine
The roots burst forth
The devil reign within
The leaves
The fiery mass

The end of silence
Begin anew


Fear

Grinding between my teeth
My thoughts of dread
They dwell and creep
i hide them oh so well from you
The true, real me
You never knew

They hide and crawl within my head
The tears spring forth
And blood turns lead
My heart turns stone
My eyes turn fire
My life is fucked
I wanna die

The thoughts that swim within
The rotation of my mind
The pain i'd love to hide
The love I yearn to find

To never find that holy grail
To never see the light
To know that darkness always wins
To know I'll always die

I hide and cover every root
Every leaf
And every shoot
The pain I feel you'll never find
The pain I have
I'll keep inside

Have hope that one day soon
My petals spring
Eternal bloom
Have hope that maybe one day far
I'll see the light and shed the tar

Spread forth the wings of destiny
The feathers flap for all to see
I'll see the light
I'll take your kiss
The air so fresh
My eyes turn mist

Have hope that one day far
Your chisel breaks the ice
The misery soaks through
And then when all is gone
It'll seep inside of you

Feel free to chip and chop
Feel free to try and try
The efforts keenly met
Without a flapping of an eye

Ignored remained
Hidden away
The pain I feel
Wont see the day
The light wont shine upon my grave
The pain I feel will hide away
The darkness blooms upon the rose
The petals fall
There's no remorse
For if the shadows melt away
And then it sees the light of day
The creatures of the night
Will shed their pretty face
And then the rose will have to trace
The misery it held so dear
To what it all, attributes
Fear


GET OUT

Get out of my life
Get out of my face
Get out of the thoughts
Which i cannot erase

I want you gone
Take all the pain
Take all the joy
Forget greif, hatred is main

Get out of my face
Get out my eyes
Get out of my thoughts
I hate all your lies

Never to see you
Never to hear
Dont know where you are
I dont want you near

Get out of my face
Get out of my eyes
Take all the pain
Await my demise

Get out my life
Get out my head
Your bullshit is killing me
Death i do not dread

Take back the moments
Which i had held dear
Take back the pain
Which is getting more clear

Get out of my face
Get out of my eyes
Your face i cant forget
My thought's are trapped in time


TRUTH

Why do you look at yourself
With so little self-respect
Have you no self-esteem, seldom
Do your praise, nor do you raise
Your voice, for fear of speaking out

Speakout and let us hear
Spill your thoughts, don't fear
And let a tear drop forth
And sing your song
Behold a thought so dear

Don't fright for if your
Frozen with anxiety
No good shall come of you
And even less of me


Significant Others

The deep confines of hell
I tread
The fiery doom
The fury mass
The scents of blood

Take hold the mighty sword
One thrust
ONE THRUST!
Plunge it in
The confines unknown
Oh.. we crave them so!

One look
One touch
Of ecstasy
The promise land
BEHOLD

What one would do
For that one touch
That one plunge
That one thrust
That one shot at heaven

Oh!
What would one do
To be all that he ever dreamed and more
What would one do
To kill his prey and
Eat it too!?

What would one do?

The plunge of hate?
The mighty sword
Controls all minds
The very basis of our lives

Settle for something
Something only few want
Something only a few gently meek require
Forget the plunge
Not even a graze
Nothing
Just a welcome feat
For the putrid soul
The enemy
Forget the plunge
Instead
Welcome it

To switch sides
Give in
Forfeit the battle
My masters keep
Destroyed
Take on a new threat
Take on a new deed

Forge the ship
Lift the anchor
Away with heart
Away with soul
For i have sold it
To Satan!
For 29 cents
And a pair of boots

A new side
A new master
A new pain
I have felt it all
I know all pain
I know what out there
But dare I
Dare I
Dare I keep what I have sough?

I've found my pain..!
Shall I keep it?
I have my pain, and that, that brings it forth
I want it
I need it
I love it
The enemy will grant it
I found my enemy

I found two


Plastic Eyes

Sharp teeth of Kingdom Come
Brown slivers pave the ground
The dawn of blame
And mistress dark
Becomes the newest stake

The clouded view of genocide
The strings of blood
Cover my eyes
And see the freshness creep to you
Above the oily death, so true

Behold the mighty castes of death
The putrid souls, the putrid breath
Sharp teeth of ground on which i sleep
The blood pours out
The wounds are deep

Hot ash, burning stalk
Plastic eyes, acid dirt
See to stare into the hell
The only one whose seen had fell

Climb up, the passage clear
Lift up, the freedom near
Climb above, the money burns
The putrid taste, my acids churn


Untitled #5

I'm sorry, always sorry
For whatever i might have done
Nothing seems to matter
Except the slick cold gun

I pick it up
My fingers clench
It hurts so bad
Now it's the end.

I'm oh so sorry, friend and foe
For all my wrongs, my sins, my faults
I'm all so sorry for one thing
That you were assholes till the end


August 6, 2000

Kill kill kill me
Throw me into space
Why why why?
Then the die turns up to 666
And then leave me be
dead dead dead I'll be
dead and not moving
Who shall see me then u ask?
Me
Not u nor kings nor Satan
Cause I'll be
Dead dead dead
Rotting in the trees
Rotting
Looking round
Whats he see?!
Murder lies and sex for cash
See the worlds end, see it crash
Just kill
Kill kill
And see the lights of Venus
And then within the moons horizon
My heart on strings
My heart on FIRE!
The earth grows faint.and shadows move
The earth is fucked
I want to see the nightingale
My heart of hearts
Has been betrayed
All I've have begged to be reality
Has been the truth.. finding its way to me
No one sees me
The way I choose them too
No one breathes life into my soul, its true
I wanna burn
I wanna see
The light to burst right outta me
I want to breathe
I want to smell
To see the smoke
In my own hell
I want to see what heavens make
I want the earth to shake and quake
I want the earth to be my guide
I want the earth to be my fire
I want to see the roses bloom
I want to see the heavens torn
I want to know when light is dark
I want to see the devils mark!
To know whets always up there soon
To know my fate shall end in doom
I cannot enter paradise
The winds and clouds cover my eyes
I'll never see them fly
The angels in the stormy sky
They'll be there always
Thick and thin
The wings spread out
The shadows dim
The earth will be my savior now!
But paradise is closed somehow
All there's to do, is take it slow
Accept the facts
Move on and show
Show that darkness is the evil
That keeps the heaven from revealing
It'll hide away
We'll never see
The pretty treasures inside
For you and for me
All there's to do
Is take solace?
In that our final measure
Will bring about much misery
And never ending pleasure
We want to touch the light above
We want to see the dark
But all that's there is not for us
For us its hell, for heavens dark
And when our turn is here
Our screams will be heard
Our voices torn
And misery will so set in
The scars we see
Will seem benign
For cancer is not the fear
Nor the sun nor wind, nor beer
For we can do whatever we choose
And the light will forget
And burn our remains
For misery keeps the fires alive
And it so shall burn us
For the end of time

-Tamara

Last update: Saturday, August 19, 2000 10:11


     
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