Death hovers over us all
like a bandit in the night
when its grip is strongest
and you are trapped
breath running out
gasping
dying
but
then
Jesus Christ
appears
death disappates
dissolves
life is everywhere
or is it?
My life is but a whirlwind
cascading colors
flurry by before I can see them
Before I recognize them they are gone
Replaced by new hues
That blink in and out of existance faster
than I can know them
chaos
a vortex
I leave all my friends behind
and just as I make new ones
they vanish
dead
or
far away
I leave a place, and the air disclouds into
the space from which
I left
When I return, the puzzle has changed,
my piece no longer fits. I am a part
of a new community
and the old one
rejects me
I start over.. 3 years of friendships down the drain
60 miles away,
drifting far away, like a balloon set free by hands
forced open, a balloon that took 3 years to craft
and now it is gone
floating
drifting
away
If I had stayed here, what would be different?
I would not have ever met
Jackie,
Jeff, Meredith,
Harmony
Jodi, Leah, Elyse, Audra, Matt, Aaron,
Tim, Tabitha, Scott, Jon, Hillary, Stover,
Keith, Sean Oldroyd, John Capp, Grant, Charles, Dave Hall,
Dave Strand, Mike B., Becky Hoffman, Anja, Nicole,
Kim Frender, that one guy on the 205 bus, I forgot his
name; Logan, Alex, Bursik, Matt R, Aaron J, Liz,
Jeremy, Jackie's other friends, Jerusha, Havilah,
Phoebe, Scott F, Travis, Manishag, Kathy, J.C., Tim,
Erik, Amy, Rachel, Amanda, Jen, Becky W., Pahtyana,
Lancia, Josh D, Teresa, Josh K, Zach Lust, Elspeth,
Lise, Tabitha H., Mike J., Jesse K., Jason K.,Josh Fein.
Jason, Erin, Janelle, Josh M, Gina, Alisha, Bryan,
Ezra, Stephanie, Holly's other friends, Eric's other
friends.. (in Boulder), Kris Middledorf, some of the
above's families; and some of the following's fam's:
Ambeur, Rachelle, Chris, Heather, Laura, J.R.,
Suzanna, Julie, Barb, Margot, Dave B., and
all of the staff at Evergreen. My teachers too:
Mr. Mayo, Mrs. Hart, Gym teacher(?), Mrs.
Hockney, Mr. Cessna, Mrs. Baird, Math teacher(??),
French teacher(??), Gym teacher(?), World Geo teach(??),
etc, etc, Mr. Mountjoy, Mrs. Blendermann, etc..
and many more people..
I have forgotten what it means to be a Fort Collinsian.
My heart, is in Boulder. I can't stand it I am a
loner here; I know hardly anyone here!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!
WHY?????????????????
Hillary's blue eyes the color of emeralds her blue eyes
are far
far
away
Ripped apart from all my friends.. Can a tree
survive without its soil? Transplanted trees...
often die.
Wrenched apart am I...
Torn by tidal forces, an iceberg,
that breaks off its
cap
and
slowly
melts
into
the
sea
I miss Charles too. He is one of my best friends..
So is Liz.. I miss her a lot.
Brandon
Robert Lucke
&
Eric Smith
all
D E A D
RIP My friends.. I almost joined you but I shall wait..
Why can't you still be alive??? I looked through the keyhole
of
suicide
and saw your faces, in the
heaven.. Free of pain,
of anguish...
But
you did not kill yourselves..
If I had, how could I stand looking at the poor
Mauritanians burning,
frying,
in HeLLll....
I shall LIVE!!! I will LIVE!!!!
Let God's lamp shine upon my feet and show me
the way!
death the blind mans friend
shadows crawl up the walls
hidden in darkness
light sparkles towards the center
of the guy's shoe.
He has athletes foot but
its being treated
who can bear to watch
the canning of the frogs
stuffed into jars
like sardines
sick
overall
wash the purple dork
with blood
San Francisco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fire penetrates the mist
a gaseous layer enveloping the city
burned away by light
cascading over the clouds
through space
from a ball of fire
miles away
awakening the small child
who notices,
with wonder,
the patterns light
plays on the wall,
silluetted by the wood
that divides the
window panes
golden is it
shafts of the light
that illuminate the childs innocent face
smiling upon him
beginning his day
outside his window
birds submerged in the blue air
begin their song
among power lines
strung across the city's slums
dirt swirls about the lifeless, gray concrete
below, tossing magazines to and fro,
cars drive slowly by,
tossing crushed asphalt into the air
a cat stretches out in an old cardboard box,
down in the alley, swatting a fly
before beginning its nap
the mist surrounding the city
burns away, and life begins
its daily cycle again.
Serbian Kiss
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Careful who you romance
careful who you love
You never know whats gonna happen
till shit hits the floor
you found a secret lover
you kissed her on the lips
she's got a secret
she's keepin from you
someone else fucks her too
she's used you abused you
and walked into the mist.
Sounds like you're the victim
of a Serbian Kiss.
Betrayal of the deepest sort
a sore inside your soul
death is more than you deserve
what the FUCK is going on
i've been left out in the cold
by a FUCKING moron
I really loved her
can't stop thinkin of her
but
someone else fucks her too
she's used me abused me
and burned me to a crisp
Sounds like I'm the victim
of a Serbian Kiss.
My balls were held for pleasure
but now they're in great pain
ruptured spermatoza
ooze out into my veins
My testicle is ruptured
It's fucked up like a bitch
Sounds like I'm the victim
of a Serbian Kiss...
a serbian kiss: kiss kiss.. a serbian kiss: kiss... . . .. .. . . . .
. . .
Ganja Pile
~~~~~~~~~~
What the fuck is going on
a man knocks at the door
i try to leave a message
but they want more and more
the hemp is growing in my basement
water it may need
i tend to it on every day
to keep my land and deed
how did all this get started
i wonder with a frown
its seems that I've been hitched
by Tetrahydrocannibol
Smoking it is quite fun
As is the ugly haze
I save a lot on groceries
with the seed of my days
I've got a PILE OF FUCKIN' GANJA
I CAN SMOKE IT ANY DAY
Stoned as Castle Rock
lala hemp rules
smoke it.. ahh haha
heeemmmpp
wanna buy some pot honey?
sure
ok have fun!! Thanks!
Rolling in my money
its like a dream come true
weed is my harvest
pot is my love
ahhh hahah ahah hah haha
<little girl singing>
This old man, he played one,
he played knick knack on my
thumb with a knick knack
paddy whack give a
dog a bone
this old man is going home
this old man
he played two
he played knick knack on my
shoe wi<bang> splat
they killed my fucking daughter
i'll kill their fucking dad
I just need money now..
money... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??
Cazorp
~~~~~~
Is a little white and green
pill gonna cure all my troubles
serotonin gonna make it go away
a little pep for you in the mornin
to keep those dogs away
make sure there ain't no alcohol
in your good ol' system
or you could pass out
on the floor
when the prozac does it in
oh I want to be happy
so I pop a couple of pills
that plug into my brain
and clog up my thoughts
I watch the world spin
around me
my head tenses with spurts of blood
trying to flush out impurities
My brain turns to mud
and I get down on my knees
Why don't the doctors tell you
whats gonna happen to you
Why don't Eli Lilly
shove a prozac up their ass
and DIE!
oh I want to be happy
so I pop a couple pills
that plug into my brain
and clog up my thoughts
I watch the world
spin around me
So many tears
A cool wind chilling
the deep automn woods
rustling the leaves
by Eli's plant..
Churning out Prozac by
the thousands...
Trucks whir by, carrying cases
of brain-damaging SHIT!
And they say its fine.
It won't hurt you.
Its biochemical..
You might think there's a reason
for your depression but its just
a chemical imbalance. Let
us get rich and fix it, and
fuck up your brain while we're at it..
FUCKING ELI LILLY DICKWEEDS!!
>>>>>BOOOMM<<<<<Bye bye
Pieces of the factory fly through the air...
A prozac pill strikes the ground, splitting in
2 and spilling out its contents...
Untitled
~~~~~~~~
Cold water crawling up my spine
killing the one rest mine
so death enters me
shrouding through the silk
washing thru the blood
seeping under the velvet green skies
dizzy falling sleep the master plan
blood drains through the icicle
crystals burn into my heart
watch the peaceful dove get shot
splattered blood and feathers fly
pool of venom draws me in
glistening like a shallow pool
blood mixes with the vile
coughing up the shit I ate
Can I stop this awful gonging
Fuck it all just wanna die
God can anyone help me
holy shit
Ode to Suicide
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can anyone just talk to me?
I'm sick of all the blood I see
The knife, it stabs into my back
the vertebre, I hear them crack
Can anyone release the pain
By biting down upon my vein
My wrists they ache just to be slashed
my car could maybe just be crashed
and then my brains would be all smashed
A gun would cause my thoughts to scatter
and then my brains would be all splattered
upon the windowsill.
The violent thoughts they do continue
This suicide could be my venue
Some cyanide that I might take
could make this awful pain abate
until the liquid charcoal-ate
later.
A life of pain and misery
is in my future, thus I see
the only way to end this bit
is grab my bong and take a hit
or wallow in my pond of shit
My car could run in the garage
or is this just but a mirage
I might just end up in triage
And then where would I be?
I could just jump from a cliff
and only take but one more sniff
of sanity
A rope that hangs from a tree
might seem to be the style for me
but if that humble rope had broken
then could they make me keep on tokin
the evil drug they give to me
called Prozac or fluxetine
Some Drain-O thus O could I drink
it's right under the kitchen sink
and I could watch my guts dissolve
one step beyond the yellow crawl
of jaundice.
The pain would warp my mind you see
I'd sink into insanity
The thought of convulsion helps me see
that this is no option for me.
Some Nitrous-Oxide would work wonders
I'd laugh until my heart went under
the peace the numbness seems so great
but is there something else, too late?
Perhaps the pain of losing air
is not as nice as I would care
But, this seems nice.
A fatal dose of morphine,
injected, via bloodstream
such happiness as my mind fades
euphoria with touch of jade.
Is there a chance that I might see
the soreness of my jealousy?
Until the bomb drops on us all
there's nothing I can do but fall
I pulled my ripcord on my chute
A gift from God it meant just moot
when it never opened.
Stray
~~~~~
Lick the flame
bsst it goes out
watch the stars flurry by
like angels on a winter day
death wine evil love
what hitler has killed my love
it is satan worse than hitler
relight the flame its better
cast out the devil
burn him
in hell
forever
peace for all
joy to the world
happiness to everyone
a cherry tree blossoms
dizziness overcomes the butler
he faints
a black cloud dominates the scene
peace over the dove holding the olive
but what can we do?
darkness dripping from every pore
drowning the light of the dove
crow and dove
death and life
fight
peace
anger
joy
fury
love
hate
good
evil
aghhhg
light the fire keep it going everyone
